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This is the first in a series to help you expand your skill with the five styles of conflict. In each post I'll show you several transition phrases for one particular style. We start in this post with Avoiding.
Not everyone needs this! It's especially for people who find themselves in frequent conflict or who scored low in Avoiding in their Style Matters score report. If you scored high in Avoiding, other posts in the series will be more useful to you.
In conflict we react. Old habits and elemental emotions of fear and anger tend to take over in the storm of inner responses.
In these moments, it helps to have a few transition phrases on the tip of the tongue to help transition to a conflict style most likely to serve us well. If you prepare now, in a time of calm, you will be more successful - and graceful - in deploying the conflict style of your choice in Storm.
A transition phrase empowers your rational brain with key words that help it maintain control in dicey moments as the lower brain gets activated. With a little practice you’ll soon express the intention behind the phrases spontaneously.
Avoiding has huge benefits and huge weaknesses, summarized in the box on right below. This post is for those situations where you've thought it through and decided Avoiding is the right response.
Of course, an easy way to avoid is to say little or just disappear. But sometimes that’s not an option and you have to say something. This is especially common if you're leading or coordinating a group of people.
Metaphors useful in constructing an avoiding response include: set aside the issue, not go into that, maintain focus on (something else), give priority to (something else), delay or postpone discussion; wait until the time is right (or we have the energy required, the time needed, etc.), think things through, agree to disagree.
Sample transition phrases:
Whatever transition phrases you choose, they should roll easily off your tongue and feel natural to you. It might be something very simple. Lawyer Zahra Ziaie Moayyed says adding one word to her repertoire of responses opened Avoiding to her, the simple reply, thoughtfully and sincerely offered, "Interesting."
From the words and sentences above, pick those that seem most useful. Edit and change them to fit you. Then review them a few times so you can use them without hesitation when Avoiding seems like the best response.
Soon the concepts behind the phrases will take root in your brain and you'll find your own spontaneous words to gracefully Avoid without a second thought.
Avoiding gracefully is essential for leaders
All the above are even more useful in group leadership. There are times and places to discuss controversial subjects and times to avoid them! When you are on one difficult topic, others often come up too. No group can deal with all issues at once. Leaders need to manage group energy and attention wisely. Strategic conflict avoidance is an essential tool for this.
The same goes for the other conflict styles. Every ounce of grace that you master in use of conflict styles interpersonally will serve you well organizationally! Comment? Go to our Facebook page and share your thoughts there.
Treine com ferramentas projetadas por instrutores e otimizadas para o aprendizado. Conduza sua atenção para além dos números, concentrando-se nos principais pontos fortes, oportunidades de crescimento e escolhas estratégicas.
Desenvolva habilidades de resolução de conflitos em ambientes com grandes divergências. Aumente a consciência situacional com a narrativa de histórias.
Fortaleza seus pontos fortes. Promova o crescimento com um feedback claro e prático sobre as diversas opções de melhoria disponíveis.
Reconheça as diversas respostas ao conflito como em estado dinâmico e não determinístico. Disponibilize ferramentas para gerenciar a transição para o estado de estresse.
Disponibilize o treinamento em várias plataformas. Apoie grupos e equipes distribuídas fisicamente. Use ferramentas que economizem tempo para facilitar o aprendizado de indivíduos, equipes ou grupos, em workshops presenciais ou online.
Preço de materiais de treinamento ao alcance de todo aluno motivado. Reduza a preparação, a coordenação e o tempo de entrega com ferramentas online fáceis de usar para o instrutor. Ofereça um aprendizado rico, presencialmente ou online, em menos tempo, com menos descolamentos.
Expanda o horizonte de aprendizagem e estimule a reflexão antes, durante e depois dos workshops. Promova uma rica discussão em pares, pequenos e grandes grupos. Faça um acompanhamento com recursos que estimulem o crescimento contínuo. Facilite jornadas, não eventos.
