Training from a Distance

Conflict styles training when time is tight or meeting in-person is difficult.

Limitations of time and distance can be intensely frustrating for trainers.  But having to deal with them can make you a better trainer.  You can still get excellent results, sometimes even better than a relaxed face-to-face workshop.  The suggestions below go from the simple to the complex; if you prefer it the other way around, start on point 8:

1. Use the online version.  The online version of the Style Matters inventory is optimized for remote users and has an onsite tutorial that supports self-study.   

2. Start at home.  Have people take the inventory at home before they arrive at a training event.  Both online and print versions of Style Matters are self-explanatory, so you can instruct your users to come to the workshop with the inventory already taken and a score report in hand.  Bingo, you just saved at least 15 minutes of precious workshop time! In your workshop, start with the Intro to Conflict Style slideshow (see Free Resources in top menu on the front page of www.RiverhouseEpress.com) and continue with input on topics covered in the Trainers Guide.

3. Use video calls.  Maybe you're working remotely with people and can't even gather them into a workshop.   Have them take the online version and review the score report on their own.   Then schedule a video call and discuss results, using one of the exercises described on the webpage, Ideas for Discussing Conflict Styles with Others.

4. Do a series, not a one-off event. In all circumstances, you will have the greatest effect on relationships and the culture of an organization or group if you interact with participants repeatedly across time rather than in a one-off event.   An online series will probably have more impact than a single face-to-face event.

5. Assign independent work. Can't get people together?  You could have an individual, a team, or a whole group take the inventory and work through the inventory on their own as individuals.  Then assign them to have a series of conversations based on assignments/topics you create for them drawing on the above resources.  If you want to be really thorough, you could ask them to send you a written summary of key insights they learned from the experience.  In that case, make it a conversation by replying to their summary.

6. Assign journalling.  With any of the above, you could have people do journal entries, just for themselves, or to share with you as trainer.   Ideas for topics: 

  •  "Key Insights about my conflict styles that I learned from taking Style Matters"
  • "Three things I want to try to do differently with others in my group (and why) as a result of learnings from Style Matters" 
  • "Reflections on a week/month of effort to apply insights from Style Matters in relationships to others"
  • "My strengths and weaknesses in conflict styles - reflections following taking the Style Matters inventory".
  • "Two successes and two challenges I faced this week in applying insights from the Style Matters inventory."
  • "A personal response to Principles of Wise Response to Conflict

7. Model understanding of conflict competency as a journey, not an event.  A percentage of people view a conflict style inventory as a test. When taking a test, the concern is to pass, be certified, demonstrate competency, etc. Then forget about it!

But we're not interested in getting people to prove their competence.  We want to help them get started on a lifelong journey of reflection and growth in managing differences with others.  We encourage people to "take the numbers with a grain of salt", to view the score report as an opener in conversation with self and others about how to grow through conflict.  We model transparency and humility about our own ongoing journey.

8. Recognize that all learners disperse eventually.  A face-to-face workshop is immediate and direct in ways that remote learning is not.  But eventually those learners disperse and go home and often the learning ends at this point.

Remote teaching, by definition, is about meeting learners on their own turf, in ways accessible to them.  This forces trainers to wrestle with precisely the issues and territory we ought to be wrestling with in order to launch people on a lifelong learning journey.   In spite of all their limitations, email, phone, or video often allow to get closer to people in their ordinary circumstances than face-to-face meeting. 

If you recognize this you can design a remote reflection and learning process that surpasses what people would get in a typical once-and-done event.   The process of teaching may not feel as richly rewarding to you as trainer, but the opportunities for making an impact remain high.