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Try Using Avoiding More
You scored lower in this style in Calm settings than in other styles. This suggests that, in early stages of conflict when things are not yet emotional, you use Avoiding less than other styles. This spares you some of the weaknesses of Avoiding. For example, if people habitually avoid difficult discussion in a long-term partnership, bad feelings fester and grow. Energy and enthusiasm fades and the relationship may be endangered.
But Avoiding has important uses you may be missing out on. You'll be most effective in conflict if you are good at all five styles. So increased use of the arts of stepping back and avoiding conflict might benefit you, especially if there is a gap of 3 points or more between your lowish Avoiding score and your highest score in Calm.
When to Avoid. In Avoiding, you respond to differences by withdrawing from interaction. Neither person gets what they want; you just avoid the topic or the person. Although it has limits, Avoiding is wise, and indeed necessary, at times.
Conflict takes time and energy, and it's stressful. If we take on every battle, we run out of time and energy for the things most important to us. Avoiding is useful when:
Ways to Strengthen Avoiding. Since Avoiding seems not to come naturally for you, you might try experimenting with avoidance responses. For example:
As you ratchet up your use of Avoiding, you'll have less drama in your life, and have more time and energy for things you care about.
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